


I don't know what this is

by Moonprincess92



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, basically Leia wants all the goss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 23:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13041906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonprincess92/pseuds/Moonprincess92
Summary: Jyn accidentally slept with Cassian last night.This is fine. It’s totally fine.





	I don't know what this is

“ _Shitballs_.”

Jyn winced as the door creaked open, the goddamn bloody thing. The landlord had said he would oil it at some point, along with replacing the faulty fire alarms and the dodgy kitchen wiring, all of which was yet to happen, so she’d at least figured not to hold her breath on it. Shoes held tight in her hands, she deliberated the merits of trying to ease the door shut quietly, or just doing it all in one go in hopes that the noise wouldn’t be so bad. Hand gripping the latch, she ended up going with the latter, cursing once more at the horrific screeching.

“Fuck,” she hissed, hastily tiptoeing through the lounge, around the sofa and coffee table. “Fuuuuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK–”

“ _Well, well, well._ ”

She froze.

Wondering where the hell she had miscalculated, Jyn turned. Sure enough, in her morning stupor she must have forgotten to account for the Sunday Morning Jog since Leia Organa stood in the kitchen doorway in her pristine Nike gear and iPod already strapped her to her arm ready to go. However, her roommate was giving her The Look and Jyn was absolutely not in the fucking mood for The Look.

“Please, spare me,” she held up a hand, eyes closed. “I am hungover as all hell, if you say more than two sentences I may cry.”

“I think you’ll survive this time,” Leia mentioned dryly. Leaning against the doorframe, she crossed her arms over her sports bra and said, “So! Someone didn’t come home last night.”

Thankfully prepared for this particular question, Jyn gave what she hoped was a nonchalant shrug  (or at least that’s what she was going for when she had managed to rehearse it a couple of times in the bathroom this morning). “It was getting late and I was tired, so Cassian just let me crash at his,” she said.

“Oh,” Leia smirked. “so kind of him.”

“ _I said don’t_ –! Just…” Jyn rubbed her eyes, inwardly groaning.

If she had her way, the conversation would just end there. Jyn would inhale several glasses of water and some painkillers before proceeding to crawl back into bed so she could die in peace. However, she knew her roommate, and Leia Organa was a lawyer for a reason. She had an ass that didn’t quit, and it was the look on her face that finally made her crack.

“FINE, I fucking slept with him, ok?” Jyn burst out.

Leia laughed. “HOLY SHIT.”

“Holy shit sounds about right.”

“Ok – fuck the run,” Leia ripped the iPod off her arm, instead dashing into the kitchen. Jyn approached warily to see her hastily gathering up a supply of what seemed to be strong coffee and a varying array of snacks, only for Leia to then turn Jyn around and practically frog-march her back down the hall. “We’re getting this coffee in you,” Leia shoved the mug into her hands, making her drop her shoes. “and then you are telling me everything!”

“We’re gonna have to go back a bit.”

“Babe, we got nothing but time,” Leia insisted. 

“I can't believe I'm doing this,” Jyn muttered. " _Fine_ , I guess it started last night when we all went out for drinks…" 

 

* * *

  

_7 hours earlier_

“To getting fucked over!” Cassian cried over the pounding bass of the club. He rubbed his eyes, glancing at the now empty shot in his hands. “Jesus, how many of these have I had?”

“Probably too many and also not enough at the same time,” Jyn couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah, mate,” Bodhi clapped him on the shoulder. “We’re trying to keep up, but…”

“Speak for yourself,” Kay grumbled, rounding off the table ensemble. “at least one of us has to keep us all from killing ourselves.”

“To Kay!” Cassian almost fell off his stool as he toasted his best friend with the empty shot glass. “May we all appreciate the fuck out of him when he’s taking us to the hospital to get our stomachs pumped!”

“To Kay,” Jyn shrugged.

“To Kay!” Bodhi agreed happily.

Kay just huffed.

Quite honestly, Jyn thought Cassian was doing remarkably well for a man whose life was essentially (and almost literally) going up in flames. His latest novel had been rejected a total of 46 times so far (and oh boy, did they know the exact number) and apparently the latest blow had come through right at the exact same time that he’d found out that his sister was having yet another baby. Kay had apparently come home to a mini-bonfire out on the balcony, his novel now burning under Manhattan’s skyline and Cassian in the middle of what appeared to be a minor breakdown. 

(“You DO realise that you have a copy on your computer still, right?” Kay had reportedly told him as he hastily put the fire out.

“It’s a metaphorical burning, Kay!” Cassian had thrown back at him). 

Either way, it had called for drinks, so the entire group had been called in. Han and Leia were apparently busy, so it was just Jyn and Bodhi who were the only ones who had been free last minute on a Saturday night. “Where did my life go wrong, Jyn?” Cassian had said to her in greeting earlier that evening, throwing his arms around her waist.

“Blimey,” Jyn had muttered. “can we get him drunk now? _Please?_ ”

But finally her friend appeared to have entered the depressed stage of drunkenness, rather than the far-too-enthusiastic stage. Cassian slumped down over the table and Bodhi laughed, rubbing a hand soothingly across his back. “Mate, it’s really not so bad,” he said. “so you got rejected, you always get rejected!”

“That’ll help, cheers, Bodhi,” Jyn mentioned.

Bodhi kicked her lightly under the table, but Cassian ran his fingers through his hair with an only slightly dramatic whine. “It’s not the rejection,” he said. “well, maybe partly… but my little sister is having kid number three. _Three!_ You want to know how many kids I had by the time I was her age? ZERO, and it’s still zero, because I have no life outside work! I have a shitty day job, in a thoroughly shitty neighbourhood, living in a _shitty_ apartment–”

“HEY,” Kay admonished.

“Sorry, you know it’s true,” Cassian just shrugged.

“All right, that’s it,” Jyn rolled her eyes. “No, I’m serious – get the hell up–” She reached across the table and shoved hard on Cassian’s shoulder, making him sit up warily. “Yeah, ok. Maybe things are shitty at the moment, but you are Cassian Fucking Andor, ok? However bad you might think it is, I can assure you it really isn't. You got things going for you.”

“Like what?” he said.

“Oh, I dunno,” Jyn rolled her eyes. “your mates are pretty goddamn decent.”

Thank the lord, he cracked a grin.

“True. I’ll forever appreciate the day you came crashing into my life.”

“That better not be sarcastic.”

“Noooo, no, I love you,” Cassian reassured, reaching out and squeezing her hand. Jyn scoffed, but let him curl around her fingers from across the table anyway. “All of you, seriously. Thank you for sorting me out while I’m going through what seems to be a quarter-life crisis.”

“Eh, haven’t we all had one of these at some point?” Bodhi shrugged.

“My life is fine, thank you,” Kay rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and you totally didn’t freak out when you didn’t get accepted to NYU two years ago,” Jyn ribbed.

“ _That wasn’t –_ they accepted me the next year!” Kay burst out.

“Sure, sure.”

“I am literally in the engineering programme now, I don’t know why you–”

“So all our lives are shit,” Cassian just shrugged. “Let’s just get mind-numbly drunk on this Saturday night together, yes? I’ll get us another round–” 

“I’ll come with,” Jyn hastily jumped up as Cassian practically staggered from his stool at their table. She caught him before he could hit the ground, winding his arm around her shoulders. “I’m fairly certain you can’t walk by yourself at this point.”

“Thank you,” Cassian said as they made their way through the crowded club. It was dark, the music seeping into her bones. The shots from earlier were definitely starting to hit her head a little and Cassian’s waist was hot underneath her arm as he told her,

“Really, Jyn, I meant what I said. I love you.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” she snorted.

“Is my life really as bad as I’m thinking it is?”

“I told you, no, it’s not,” she said. “but you gotta drink your own weight in alcohol before you believe that, so.”

“I had a plan, you know,” Cassian’s head practically leaned against hers, yelling in her ear being the only way that they could really hear each other. “Get a good job, get married and have some kids – I wanted a _life_ – but I’m 28 and I’m still trying to sell this goddamn book four years later–”

“It’s going to get picked up!” Jyn yelled back at him. “Jesus, Cassian, it’s not like you’re pushing retirement – you think I know what I’m doing with my life?”

“ _Ugh_  – I’m sorry,” Cassian squeezed her shoulders, kissing her head lightly. “let’s just get those shots.”

“Yes, please.” 

 

* * *

 

“So basically,” Leia cut in, the two of them now tucked up in Jyn’s bed, an open bag of potato chips between them and coffee in hand. “His life started falling apart and you fucked him better?”

“NO, blimey,” Jyn hoped to god that her face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Just let me tell the fucking story, ok?”

 

* * *

 

Several more shots and another crisis or two later, Cassian had thankfully entered the blissfully unaware of any/all worries stage of drunkenness and honestly, Jyn wasn’t far behind him. They had thrown back tequila together, Bodhi cheering loudly at the sting, before Cassian had grabbed her hands and said, “We need to fuckin’ dance, come dance with me!”

Usually, Jyn did not dance unless you paid her an extraordinary amount of money, but she was drunk-Jyn at the moment, and the amount that drunk-Jyn required got less and less the more and more alcohol you got in her. “Ok, but you owe me five bucks!” she yelled, allowing herself to get dragged onto the crowded dance floor. Cassian quite famously didn’t know how to dance at all, but he didn’t let it stop him as pop songs blasted out of the club mix. He slung Jyns’ arms around his neck, hauling her in at the waist. He moved, hips rolling into hers and Jyn matched his uncoordinated sways as best she could. She didn’t care that they probably looked ridiculous. The heat of the dance floor made her skin burn, although maybe that was his hand on her lower back, tracing the skin exposed from the cut-out of her dress. 

Ok. _Ok_. Maybe she should have stopped and thought for a moment before she got to this point, but it was fine. It was _fiiiiiiine!_ This was who they were. Cassian was her best friend, had been ever since they’d met at Leia’s birthday party four years ago, back when he’d first moved to the city with nothing but a suitcase and bright ideas. They hugged, he kissed her head goodnight, she let him share her bed whenever it got late and he was too exhausted to take the train back home, it was honestly just who they were. Bodhi called bullshit on the closeness sometimes but he was _wrong,_ all of them were wrong, because this was normal, this felt _right_ –

It always felt right. Shit.

She glanced up at him under the lights. His eyes were closed, but they must have felt her watching because he looked down and grinned. _God_. It had to be the alcohol talking. It had to, because she didn’t feel like this around Cassian, or at least she certainly wasn't supposed to. No, not at all! 

She rocked up onto her toes and with their faces so close together, her lips slanted against his. For a second, they didn’t move. It wasn’t so much a kiss as it was just a brief touch, but he lingered under the lights and she felt him take a shuddering breath. Something passed between them and she wasn’t sure if it was a question or a reassurance, though considering how drunk they were it was probably both.

 _Fuck it_ , Jyn figured.

She kissed him again, harder and longer and like he was her air to breathe or some other bullshit like that. GOD, why hadn’t they been doing this as long as they had known each other? She clung to his collar, his hands roaming her hips, her back, her shoulders and she really had no idea what was happening, OH BOY WAS SHE PANICKING A LITTLE?! Her head was swimming. She had definitely drunk too much. 

“Fucking hell–” Jyn gasped as he bit her lip a little.

“Jyn – Jyn – we don’t do this–” Cassian breathed into her mouth, hand inside her dress now thanks to the cut-out at the back. “What am I doing – oh god–”

“Don’t put your hand there unless you plan on taking the entire thing off,” Jyn murmured against his lips.

“ _Fuck_.”

“Fuck sounds about right, I don’t know why I said that.”

“This is a bad idea.”

“Super bad.”

“Our friendship is gonna be fucking ruined–”

“Exactly, so we shouldn’t–”

Their faces, however, weren’t listening and instead were gravitating towards each other without thought. Heat fuelled their kisses, both gasping, and hands snaking down their bodies. Jyn felt his every dip and curve under her fingers and eventually she threw all caution to the wind and said,

“Get outta here?’

“Oh, thank god.”

 

* * *

 

“So we went home and we fucked, the end,” Jyn finished the story without preamble.

Leia, apparently, wasn’t satisfied.

“ _We went home and fucked, the end?_ ” she said in outrage. “Nope, I’m sorry, I need more! What actually HAPPENED?”

“What, do you want to know the position or something?”

“I need DETAILS, Jyn!” Leia demanded. “I mean shit, you slept with Cassian. CASSIAN. He’s not like Han, he doesn’t proudly and obnoxiously talk about his sex life in casual conversation–”

“I mean, that’s probably a good thing,” Jyn snorted.

“Yeah, well,” Leia rolled her eyes. “My point is, _holy shit_. What was it like? Was it good?”

“Of course not,” Jyn scoffed. “We were drunk. It was awkward and he came in like three seconds.”

Leia looked mightily disappointed.

But honestly, Jyn certainly hadn’t expected much else from Cassian considering he’d been so drunk at that point that he couldn’t even remember how to take his own shoes off. He’d tried, he really had, but she had kissed him hard enough to bruise and he was gone completely, and she wasn't going to fault him for it. Her head throbbed trying to think back, but she remembered the two of them giggling, staggering around in the dark and eventually falling into his bed. They’d been half dressed, she’d sworn spectacularly when his hips had ground against hers only to break off into a laugh as he pressed small kisses down the side of her face. There’d been too much fumbling, too much teeth and an awkwardly placed knee here and there, but Jyn felt the blinding smile spreading across her face despite it all.

“Jesus,” Leia mentioned. “must’ve been a fucking good three seconds. I’ve never seen you smile like that before.”

“Just because it was bad doesn’t mean I didn’t like it,” Jyn pointed out.

“OH MY GOD.”

But Jyn just drained her coffee before leaning her head back warily against her pillows.

“ _Leiaaaaaa_ , tell me honestly,” she moaned. “How badly did I fuck this up?”

“Depends how much you value your friendship, quite honestly.”

“You know us,” Jyn looked up desperately. “Leia, you know what we’re like, is this doomed? Is this something, are we something?”

“I don’t know!” Leia pointed out. “Hell, I can barely tell if you like ME most days, how am I supposed to tell how you feel about someone else?”

“I like you,” Jyn said.

“Reassuring, but still doesn’t help,” Leia said with a snort of laughter. “What did you say after?”

“Nothing, really,” Jyn admitted. It was a kind of haze. She remembered thinking that she was still breathing hard, still thrumming with heat and feeling like her head was on the verge of exploding, only there was so much alcohol in her system that all she'd felt like doing was sinking into his mattress. Cassian’s hand had reached out blindly, hitting her in the face, and she had snickered into his sheets. She remembered catching it, pulling it close to her chest and him pressing his nose to her hair.

“I think I fell asleep,” Jyn admitted.

“Clearly, seeing as you were trying to sneak in back home at,” Leia checked her phone. “6:15am.”

“I woke up and panicked, ok!” she cried. “What would you have done?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have slept with my best friend, for starters.”

“No, you only sleep with either arseholes or Han.”

“I’d argue, but honestly touché,” Leia said regretfully.

Jyn rubbed her eyes. “Leia, seriously, what the hell do I do?”

“Well, do you have feelings for him?”

“WHAT IS A FEELING?”

“JYN.”

“Look, I don’t know!” she cried, trying not to splash Leia's cooling coffee everywhere. “Sure, I’ve always liked him, like you said he’s one of my best mates and we’ve always been close, but – we’ve never gone there until now and I don’t know why.”

“Have you ever considered it?”

“Maybe?”

“This isn’t a time for guessing, Jyn.” 

“OK, ok! Yes, I’ve considered it a couple times,” she burst out. “but it was never seriously, it was always joking with Shara at work or something, a ‘your friend’s hot’ ‘oh fuck yeah’ something like that. But something just happened last night and it was like…”

“A switch got flicked.”

“Something like that.”

What was she even supposed to do from here? She didn’t know what she wanted and she was fairly certain she shouldn’t face him again until she did, but there was a reason they were all friends! They saw each other on a fairly regular basis, it would be blindly obvious if she started avoiding him and quite frankly, she really didn’t want to. She enjoyed his company, his usually quiet charismatic vibe naturally meshing with her. They didn’t have to say a lot when they were together, but it was like a thousand conversations passed between them anyway. They could spend an entire evening just spread out on the couch, legs tangled and on their individual phones the entire time and call it a great night. They’d both had shit happen to them in the past, they both had shit to deal with now, but there was always something just inherent that made them understand each other.

Was this really worth potentially ruining all that?

Before she could even try and explain all of this to Leia, someone knocked at the door.

“I swear to god, if that’s Han forgetting his keys again I’m gonna–” Leia began, but Jyn grabbed at her arm frantically.

“What if it’s him?” she hissed.

“How could it be, you literally left him out cold after fucking his brains out, right?”

“Wait, wait – LEIA,” Jyn stage cried as she attempted to drag her roommate back to bed with her. However, Leia just kept on ploughing for the door, letting Jyn hang onto her arm with no problems. Jyn’s socked feet slid uselessly down the hallway as she attempted to keep Leia back all the way to the door and she had to practically hide herself in the kitchen when she answered it.

“ANDOR. Jesus, you must've run fast. Do you realise what time it is?”

“I know, I know it’s early, I’m sorry – but um, is Jyn –?”

“Oh, she’s here,” Leia smirked. She turned, grabbing Jyn and having no problems being the one to pull her out into the open.

 _Goddamn it, Leia_.

Jyn found herself facing Cassian once more, less than an hour after dragging herself more or less naked from his bed. He wore old jeans and a large stained sweatshirt and considering she was still in her clothes from the night before, he was probably doing a little better than her at any rate. Leia managed to slink back out of the line of fire as the two of them continued to just stand there in the doorway and eventually, Jyn had to at least try and push through this because clearly he wasn’t going to any time soon.

“Hey,” she said, brightly. “So that tequila, huh? Tell me, does your head hurt as much as–”

He reached out and held her face, kissing her hard in one smooth movement.

“– _god_ ,” she gasped once he broke away from her.

“Shit, I’m sorry – to be fair, I think I’m still a little drunk,” Cassian’s hands wavered a little as they pulled away. “but you left before I had a chance to say – um – I don’t regret it, ok? _Shit, shit, shit,_ I don’t know what I’m saying – actually forget all of this, we’ll pretend it never happened – have a good day!” 

“Hold on–”

Jyn had to grab his wrist to stop him from panicking and slamming the door behind him. She pulled him inside before shutting the door, only once she had him standing there in front of her clearly in some stage of inward meltdown once again, she suddenly found that she didn’t know what it was she wanted to say. Damn it, this is why she shouldn’t be trusted with emotions! She probably needed to start somewhere though, and an apology seemed fitting considering that she’d basically jumped him at what had appeared to be the most vulnerable he’d been in his life since she’d known him.

“Cassian, I’m so sorry for last night,” she insisted. “you were emotional, I took advantage of it.”

“No, no, you could never take advantage–”

“But you wouldn’t have slept with me if you weren’t–”

“Trust me, Jyn, I would have.”

“Damn,” she let out a breath, trying not to smile as he let out a similar laugh. “Ok. Shit, Cassian…”

“Look,” He shuffled his feet a little. “again, I don’t regret last night. I regret how drunk I was, because I don’t actually remember a lot and I fear I was mostly off my game, but we fit together well and I–”

“Wanna try again?”

She was almost certain that he was having a heart attack.

Yes, maybe this fucked up their friendship, but it was the least of her concerns. This man was standing in front of her at six in the morning because he cared and damn it, she could only imagine how great it could get if they had sex a second, third or even a fourth time. His life was a mess but hell, maybe this would make it slightly better and she pulled him down to her, his lips hot against hers as he responded in earnest.

“I hope your head doesn’t hurt too much,” she grinned.

“Oh, I’ll survive.”

Jyn pulled away to yell back into the apartment. “LEIA,” she hollered, Cassian attaching himself to her neck. “I’d go for that run now if I were you!”

“Thank the lord,” She heard, rather than felt Leia stomp past as Jyn went back to making out in the middle of the hallway. “I’ll be back much, much later. You kids have fun!”

“Oh, we will,” Cassian whispered into her ear before picking her up under her thighs and carrying her down to her bedroom.

_Oh, we will._

**Author's Note:**

> WHATUPPPPPPPP 
> 
> so i haven't written anything in what feels like forever and then bOOM, this explodes out of my keyboard lol. I have no idea if it's any good, the title could reference jyn not knowing what the thing is with Cassian, but honestly, it was actually just me saving it as i LITERALLY don't know what it is, i was making it up as i went along hahahahahaha 
> 
> Either way, I hope yall liked it!!!! Pls tell me if u did, and as always feel free to come scream at me on tumblr hahahahaha @moonprincess92nz  
> Much love!!!!!  
> xoxoxo


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